A bushel of brains

Is it just me, or is the tone of the above fortune a little condescending? Maybe it’s the double smiley emoticon.

I just had my quarterly CT scan yesterday morning, so that handful of patience is going to come in handy. Not that I expect bad news; I just hate waiting, almost as much as I hate having to wake up at 7am to drink 900ml of “creamy vanilla smoothie” (a cruel name for what is actually barium sulfate) prior to the testing. Thankfully, my husband and I have a tradition going where he takes me out for breakfast afterwards, to the best diner in the world, where I enjoy a stack of enormous blueberry pancakes. The whole time they’re putting in the IV and pumping me full of contrast fluids and having me hold my breath for ungodly stretches of time while they scan me, a mantra is repeating in my head: “Pancakes. Pancakes. Pancakes.”

Later, after my system was devoid of barium and full of pancakes, I got some fun news: I’ll be reading and signing OTTO-graphs at my local indie, Books on the Square, on Saturday, October 22 at noon.

“OTTO-graphs.” See what I did there?